'' WAY TO GO ''

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for 
Microsoft Europe. 


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. 

Bill Gates:  Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 


2000 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose 
if I stay. I'll give it a try' 

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 

2000 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself  ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays. 

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 


500 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. 

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 


498 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. 
Everyone else has gone. 

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' 

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' 


The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama' 

:-))

Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Doctor : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai. 

Sardar : Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai. 

Doctor : dawai khali thi kya? 

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi. 

Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya. 

Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le lit hi. 

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya? 

Sardar : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi. 

Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya? 

Sardar : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha. 

Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai? 

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. 

Doctor : Kyon? 

Sardar : Kyonki dhakkan band tha. 

Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai. 

Sardar : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna. 

Doctor : Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.! 

Sardar : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga 

Ram Ravan

What is that Ravan can do alone but Lord Ram cannot????????
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Think More.
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Answer : GROUP DISSCUSSION!!!

Mausi Rishta leke aya hoon teri Basanti ke kiye : Version 2.0

Mausi Rishta leke aya hoon tere Basanti ke kiye

             Jay : Mausi, ladka Satyam mein kaam karta hai.. 
          Mausi : Hai ram..!!! Aur kahin try kar raha hai kya?? 
 
Jay : kahan mausi, 2 saal Satyam me rahne ke baad koi Company leti 
kahan 
                                 hai... 
          Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se Satyam mein hi hai.. 
 
  Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary 
                    bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use.. 
               Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..? 
 
       Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi.. 
      Mausi : Hai hai ...!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..? 
   Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to 
                      nahin milti hai na... Mausi.. 
               Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..? 
 
 Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite Jane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi 
                                 anban.. 
        Mausi : To kya AB tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya ..??? 
 
Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi likha 
hai 
                                 mausi.. 
  Mausi : kya kaha ladka Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!! 
 
               Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..? 
          Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar de denge!! 
              Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi??? 
   Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun Le...Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki, koi 
  sauteli maa nahi....Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale Chandu 
     se shaadi kar Le par Satyam ke employee se katai nahin karegi .

What is 710...........?

This doesn't mean all women are stupid when it comes to cars....But there always are (a lot of) exceptions!!

Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. 

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked," What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine.I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" 

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is......... 

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Software engineer and his wife

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
-x-

A Chinese and Spielberg

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for
his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed
our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."

PJ time

1.Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .... why ???
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because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)


2.if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
it means that the Cat is also going somewhere


3.rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi..........................

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta????????????????

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do

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4.BRUCE LEE was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...
why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE!

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5.
santa and banta r discussing---------

santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"

Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."

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6.
One day Ravan went to a disco.........................
aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ...................

kyun???????????????????
kyun??????????????

bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

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7.
Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To

naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.

Kyon??????

Think............

Give up??

Coz...

"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango."