Wrong mail ID

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, 
  
So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. 
  
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. 
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her 
  
Husband's funeral. 
  
The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence 
  
Messages from relatives and friends.     
  
  
  
After reading the first message, she fainted. The   
  
Widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the   
  
Computer screen which read: 
  
  
  
To: My Loving Wife 
  
  
Subject: I've reached 
  
  
Date: 16 May 2004 
  
  
  
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. 
  
  
  
  
I've just reached and have been checked in. 
  
  
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival   tomorrow. 
  
  
Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW! 
  

Ultimate Sardar

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."

The sardaar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.


At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."


Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.

The sardaar's wife said,

"Don't look at me.

He makes his own lunch."

Brilliant Math symmetry

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321


1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888


1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage : Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage : Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back !

Funny Matrimonial Ads

Fisherman

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

Salesman

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for awife.

Mathematician

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

'' WAY TO GO ''

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for 
Microsoft Europe. 


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. 

Bill Gates:  Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 


2000 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose 
if I stay. I'll give it a try' 

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 

2000 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself  ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays. 

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 


500 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. 

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 


498 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. 
Everyone else has gone. 

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' 

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' 


The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama' 

:-))

Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Doctor : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai. 

Sardar : Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai. 

Doctor : dawai khali thi kya? 

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi. 

Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya. 

Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le lit hi. 

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya? 

Sardar : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi. 

Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya? 

Sardar : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha. 

Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai? 

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. 

Doctor : Kyon? 

Sardar : Kyonki dhakkan band tha. 

Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai. 

Sardar : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna. 

Doctor : Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.! 

Sardar : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga