A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
'You are employed' he said... me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when may start.
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.
'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round.. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
Moral of the story
Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.
Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being a office boy/girl,than a millionaire. ......... .
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Rs.100 an hour
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his
5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
the man said
angrily.
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."
SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"
The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this
childish behavior."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and
started to get even angrier about the little
boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to
think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to
the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the
man.
"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the
Rs.50 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He
yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The
little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father
grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.
"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged
for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.. We should
not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with
those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
replace us in a matter of days.
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of
their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than to our family.
A Chinese and Spielberg
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for
his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed
our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."
Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for
his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed
our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."
Friday, 9 May 2008
Lessons in Logic
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
..............................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
..............................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
..............................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
..............................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
..............................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
..............................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
..............................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
..............................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
..............................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
..............................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
..............................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
..............................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
..............................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
..............................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
..............................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
..............................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
Handling Efforts
A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer...... ........ ......... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap......... ........ ........ $ 9, 998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer...... ........ ......... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap......... ........ ........ $ 9, 998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!
ZODIAC
VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, but is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
PJ time
1.Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .... why ???
.
.
because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)
2.if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean??????????????????????????
3.rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi..........................
sonia gandhi --> kyun beta????????????????
rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do
------------------------------
4.BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...
why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE!
------------------------------
5.
santa and banta r discussing---------
santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."
------------------------------
6.
One day Ravan went to a disco.........................
aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ...................
kyun???????????????????
kyun??????????????
bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"
------------------------------
7.
Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????
Think............
Give up??
Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango."
Don't copy if you can't paste!
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
Said he: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause........
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
His wife went mad with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....... and I can't remember who she was !"
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!
Said he: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause........
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
His wife went mad with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....... and I can't remember who she was !"
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!
What should I do to marry a rich guy?
A friend forwarded me this one: awesome :)
Q: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've
met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same
goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do
contact me...
signed,
J.P. Morgan
Thursday, 8 May 2008
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