Wrong mail ID

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, 
  
So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. 
  
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. 
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her 
  
Husband's funeral. 
  
The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence 
  
Messages from relatives and friends.     
  
  
  
After reading the first message, she fainted. The   
  
Widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the   
  
Computer screen which read: 
  
  
  
To: My Loving Wife 
  
  
Subject: I've reached 
  
  
Date: 16 May 2004 
  
  
  
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. 
  
  
  
  
I've just reached and have been checked in. 
  
  
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival   tomorrow. 
  
  
Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW! 
  

Ultimate Sardar

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."

The sardaar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.


At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."


Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife.

The sardaar's wife said,

"Don't look at me.

He makes his own lunch."

Brilliant Math symmetry

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321


1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888


1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage : Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage : Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back !

Funny Matrimonial Ads

Fisherman

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

Salesman

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for awife.

Mathematician

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

'' WAY TO GO ''

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for 
Microsoft Europe. 


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. 

Bill Gates:  Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 


2000 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose 
if I stay. I'll give it a try' 

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 

2000 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself  ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays. 

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 


500 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room. 

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 


498 people leave the room. 


Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. 
Everyone else has gone. 

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' 

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho' 


The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama' 

:-))

Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Doctor : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai. 

Sardar : Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai. 

Doctor : dawai khali thi kya? 

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi. 

Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya. 

Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le lit hi. 

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya? 

Sardar : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi. 

Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya? 

Sardar : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha. 

Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai? 

Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. 

Doctor : Kyon? 

Sardar : Kyonki dhakkan band tha. 

Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai. 

Sardar : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna. 

Doctor : Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.! 

Sardar : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga 

A Boy's Love

This one came to me on a email long time ago. But i never read it. But when i finally did, i could not stop but share it. A sure teaser for you Lachrymal gland.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Boy's Love

 

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the store to buy the remaining gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself. It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go... Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it...

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if all kids really play with such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him and said: Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?

The old lady replied: You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear. Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to. It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. No, Santa Claus cannot bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there.

His eyes were so sad while saying this.

My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy said that Mommy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister.

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the store.

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me: I also want mommy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me.

I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few dollars out and said to the boy. What if we checked again, just in case, to see if you have enough money?

OK he said. I hope that I have enough.

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said: Thank you God for giving me enough money.

Then he looked at me and added: I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me.

I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. but He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose. You know, my mommy loves white roses.

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.

The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

Position or Performance?

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Johhny J., taxi driver from New York !

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Johhny J.: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?' 




'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God. 






'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.' J J 



Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

Ram Ravan

What is that Ravan can do alone but Lord Ram cannot????????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Think
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Think More.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer : GROUP DISSCUSSION!!!

Records of Happiness

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,

Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.

With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage

life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new

life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The

more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the

first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back

after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it

was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be

made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs..100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage

- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted

...... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial

things.They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the

most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical

nowadays, huh?

One day Priya talked to her Mother:

'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't

imagine how

I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if

you

really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the

saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and

spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue

and planning to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked,

and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and

happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She

left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend

the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new

deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I

notice

how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness

you've brought me..'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not

ask.I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru

all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way,

Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you

slipped.

Life is about correcting mistakes."