Position or Performance?

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Johhny J., taxi driver from New York !

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Johhny J.: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?' 




'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God. 






'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.' J J 



Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

Ram Ravan

What is that Ravan can do alone but Lord Ram cannot????????
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Answer : GROUP DISSCUSSION!!!

Records of Happiness

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,

Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.

With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage

life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new

life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The

more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the

first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back

after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it

was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be

made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs..100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage

- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted

...... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial

things.They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the

most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical

nowadays, huh?

One day Priya talked to her Mother:

'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't

imagine how

I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if

you

really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the

saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and

spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue

and planning to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked,

and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and

happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She

left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend

the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new

deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I

notice

how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness

you've brought me..'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not

ask.I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru

all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way,

Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you

slipped.

Life is about correcting mistakes."

Aasche Pujo

Bauer Jatna Nin

Why husband should not answer ?

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!
WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'
HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.
WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'
WIFE: 'You would?'
HUSBAND: .......?
WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'
HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'
WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'
HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'
WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'
HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'
WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'
HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'
WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes'
HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.'
WIFE: -- silence -
HUSBAND: 'shit'.

Mausi Rishta leke aya hoon teri Basanti ke kiye : Version 2.0

Mausi Rishta leke aya hoon tere Basanti ke kiye

             Jay : Mausi, ladka Satyam mein kaam karta hai.. 
          Mausi : Hai ram..!!! Aur kahin try kar raha hai kya?? 
 
Jay : kahan mausi, 2 saal Satyam me rahne ke baad koi Company leti 
kahan 
                                 hai... 
          Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se Satyam mein hi hai.. 
 
  Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary 
                    bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use.. 
               Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..? 
 
       Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi.. 
      Mausi : Hai hai ...!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..? 
   Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to 
                      nahin milti hai na... Mausi.. 
               Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..? 
 
 Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite Jane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi 
                                 anban.. 
        Mausi : To kya AB tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya ..??? 
 
Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi likha 
hai 
                                 mausi.. 
  Mausi : kya kaha ladka Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!! 
 
               Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..? 
          Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar de denge!! 
              Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi??? 
   Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun Le...Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki, koi 
  sauteli maa nahi....Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale Chandu 
     se shaadi kar Le par Satyam ke employee se katai nahin karegi .